still waiting...........

Feeling a bit scary today, even the whole day got tarnished , how to improvise on ? I never afraid much about it but for the first time get scared. The reason is also self produced. "HOW I WILL PROVE MYSELF."  Moving to flashback, i still remember, when i was a child, used to see other ones of same age, busy making their daily time table. I got astonished and my eyes blinked to make same for myself. I also took out a paper, copy that for myself, but never followed that, the reason being always happy being a mediocre. Never want a breakthrough that could be accentuated. The same question arise today also and no answers why should i aspire high?